Mr. Grooism

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December 05, 2003 - 10:50 p.m.

Part 3:
There's Something About Larry

And On The Third Day He Got Around To Talking About Himself

Geez, what kind of blogger am I, two days of introduction and I still haven’t given you folks a proper hello.


I’m Larry.

Hi there.

Hmmm, now let’s see, I’m a single 42 year old male who is one with Life, The Universe and Everything.

In addition to making not-so-subtle references to the Hitchhiker’s Guide To The Galaxy, I’m a voracious reader. I especially lo-o-ove comic books, and enjoy exploring all of the nooks and crannies of pop culture. Here’s the links to My Faves in my profile if ya wanna take a peek.

I’ll wait.

Back so soon? You blew it off, didn’t ya? That’s okay, I still love ya!

Anyway, where were we?

I worked for 11 years as an advertising copywriter for a major department store (no names, but you’ve seen their parade, hint, hint) until October 2002, when I either freed myself from the shackles of oppression or made the biggest mistake of my adult life (the jury’s still out) by quitting. Oops.

After six months of fruitless job-hunting, I finally accepted a job as assistant manager of a record store. The pay sucks, but the actual “working-in-a-record-store” part of working in a record store is a blast. Even the bad days are better than The Corporate Shuffle, that’s for sure! It helps that we’ve got a great crew who know how to have fun while working hard, and who really know their stuff.

What else, what else, what else? I dunno, I’ve always found the whole mini-biopic type of exposition to be rather boring, so let’s just call it a day on the whole “who is Mr. Grooism” rant and get on with something a bit more telling.

That’s right, time for a Grooism. Ya wanna know something about Larry, then a Grooism is just the ticket! To those of you who have heard these stories already, apologies extended.

Grooism #1:

Larry Flashes the King & Queen of Denmark (or possibly Sweden)

Back in 1986 or 87 or so, I was working as a supervisor for a small NYC contract security guard firm, and one of our accounts was the South Street Seaport. They were holding some sort of Danish Heritage Festival (or possibly Swedish, I can't remember which) the culmination of which would be an appearance by the King & Queen of Denmark (Sweden?). I was stationed by the side entrance to the stage, and in addition to tons of security guards & NYC Police, there was Secret Service aplenty.

So the moment came for the Danish Royal Couple (Swedish?) to take the stage, and as they approached the Secret Service took control, and told me to get on the other side of the sawhorse-style barricade, NOW NOW NOW! I hurriedly stepped over... and ripped my pants almost completely in half, front-to-back, in full frontal view of the King & Queen of Denmark (but I'm thinking perhaps it was Sweden)!

Okay, I did exaggerate a bit, I didn't exactly FLASH! them, but they certainly got a pretty damned good look at my Hanes® (or they could have been Fruit of the Loom®)!

The End

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