Mr. Grooism

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December 13, 2003 - 1:13 a.m.

Feeling GROO-vy

Moron Groo, I mean More On Groo, plus another Grooism

Sergio Aragones’ Groo stands proud and tall (the comic book, not the character himself, who instead stands sluggishly and stooped-over) as a landmark series in the comic book industry. It was one of the first mainstream comics to be owned by the creator of the comic rather than by the publisher. This was virtually unheard of at the time it was first published in the early 1980’s!

Groo was initially turned down by pretty much every major publisher, not because they didn't want to publish it, but because they insisted on owning what they published! Sergio stood fast, insisting that the creator of a comic book was no different than the author of a novel or a painter or any other artist. If he created it, it was by rights his, case closed.

While publisher-owned characters still dominate the industry, it is now pretty much the norm for a creator to retain the rights to his brand new property, unless it's designed as part of a copyrighted canon (such as the so-called DC UNIVERSE). Of course, if in the course of writing Superman you are commissioned to create a new villain called Major Mendicant for the Man of Steel to fight, you are then engaged in a work for hire situation, and wouldn't be able to bring Major Mendicant over to Marvel Comics to fight The Silver Surfer. (Exceptions apply, see inter-company crossovers for details).

All the more reason to buy Groo when the next set of 12 comes out in 2004. Watch this space, I'll be announcing the in-store date as soon as I find out when the hell it is!

Grooism #5
The Dreaded Lobster Fork Story

Are you guys sick of these stories yet?

Anyway, one day I was coming home from work, and reallyreallyreally had to go to the bathroom, but found a surprise package waiting for me from my friends Keith & Tracy. I was excited and couldn't wait to open it, but also couldn't wait to perform a certain biological function, so practical slob that I am I took the package in with me.

However, I noticed that Tracy had gotten kind of carried away stapling the padded mailer closed, so I rummaged through my drawers quickly looking for something to help me remove the staples.

What I found was (...wait for it!) a Lobster Fork! Ta-daaaa! Perfect for removing staples, take it from me! So I ran to the bathroom, sat down to take care of the kind of business that always requires some "paperwork" afterwards, and started prying out the staples.

Now, I had no trash can in the bathroom (what a guy thing, huh? ), so where to put the staples? On the sink? No, they'll end up on the floor and I'll step on one barefooted some morning. I know. I'll just drop them into the toilet as I remove them! Genius!

So, pry, remove, hands between legs to drop staple into toilet, pry, remove, drop staple into toilet, pry, remove, drop staple into toilet... Did I mention that I was holding the package in one hand, so the hand holding the lobster fork was the one dropping the staples in? (I know you all see it coming, folks)

Pry, remove, drop -YOWWWWWCH!!! Yes friends, I managed to stab myself in a very interesting place with The Dreaded Lobster Fork.

Please, do not try this at home!

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All content except as noted copyright 2003, 2004 Lawrence C. Steller, all rights reserved. May not be reproduced in any form without express written permission from Larry, ok?

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