Mr. Grooism

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December 29, 2003 - 8:40 p.m.

Thirteen and a Half Things™

Now that Christmas is behind us and New Year’s Eve is creeping up, it’s time to reflect on…

Thirteen and a Half Things™…
That Make Being Single During The Holidays Worth It!

1. No one rates a $700 present!
2. Taking down Christmas decorations is easy, just remove the little Santa Hat from the 2 foot tall R/C Godzilla, and done!
3. I get to listen to truly stupid Christmas Songs like Grandma Got Run Over By A Reindeer and Oh Come All Ye Deadheads!
4. No arguments over whose family we see Christmas Eve/Day.
5. I get to wear my dopey Santa Baseball Hat whenever I want, dammit!
6. Eggnog with Rum, hold the Nagging.
7. Christmas Shopping is a breeeeeeze, get in, get out!
8. No Buttinsky Spinster reeking of mothballs will harass me about buying a Ring.
9. No one to curl up by the fireplace wi – oh wait, that’s NOT a good thing!!!
10. I can still wear jeans just about anywhere, even to church!
11. I can keep plans last-minute and come and go as I please.
12. I get to watch A Christmas Story instead of Miracle on 34th St.
13. Guilt-free caroler-mocking!
13.5. No dirty looks when I…

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