January 16, 2004 - 10:25 a.m.Fish, Coffee, and Pirates. Some Casual GrooismsOK, I admit none of these Grooisms are up to my usual standards of mayhem, but they�re mildly humorous stories anyway�
Grooism #10: The Fish StoryComing home from work one evening, I knew I had nothing defrosted for dinner, so I decided to stop by the neighborhood fish market on the way home and pick up something to cook. I learned a valuable lesson tonight, and that is, learn the local language! Okay, I know I live in New Jersey, but the area I�m in is a heavily Spanish neighborhood, so speaking no Spanish, I just manage the best I can. The store I went to had a sign that said Pesca-something-or-other (hey, I know that means fish, Pisces, right? ), it had fresh fish on ice in the window, and (here�s the clincher) the only English to be seen in the store was in fact the words Fish Market! Okay, to quote my buddy Dan, �How hard could it be? � However, the fish had no prices marked on them, and there were no signs anywhere with prices, so I communicated the best I could with the fishmonger that I wanted to know what those fillets were, and those� and how much? He said �Red Snapper, $7.99 pound, Flounder, $6.99 pound. � �Okay, I�ll take 2 (holding up two fingers) Red Snapper fillets. � Now, I had noticed that the guy before me had had his fish breaded and fried, but I was in the mood to cook, so decided not to take the tempting shortcut. To reinforce this, I said �I�ll take them just like that, not cooked. � The guy nodded, rinsed the fillets, sprinkled them with lemon juice right next to a tub of flour� �No, wait, no flour, I want to take then home just like that, okay? � �Like this, si! � and with that he tossed my fish into the deep-fryer, unseasoned just like that! OK, I know when to admit defeat! My fillets were already cooking, unseasoned though they were, so I just went with the flow, took home my unseasoned, uncoated deep-fried red snapper, sprinkled some Cajun seasoning on them, and a had a pretty damned good fish dinner after all, without having to cook! Oh well!
Grooism #11: Morning CoffeeThe only thing better than fresh-brewed coffee is a fresh-brewed Grooism, and this one combines them both. We�ll have the decaf coffee light with one Splenda®, and the Grooism short and sweet� I finally got around to buying more coffee last week, but haven�t gotten back into the habit of brewing a morning pot. Since I live alone, a whole pot is a bit of a waste, but attempts to brew half-pots always come out either too strong or too weak. Therefore I just brew a full pot of coffee, enjoy a large travel-mug sized java with my breakfast, then bring 2 travel mugs of coffee with me to work. The first I enjoy hot, the second goes in the fridge for iced coffee later. Of course I digress. Since as I said I am out of the coffee habit, my routine is a bit rusty, but I decided to go for it yesterday morning. Let�s see now, measure the water in the glass coffee pot, pour water into coffeemaker, measure grinds into filter, turn on coffeemaker� Now I�ll just go shovel the snow, and when I come back I�ll be greeted by� �a nice� �hot� �puddle of coffee all over the counter and floor! Yes, I somehow neglected to actually put the coffee pot into the coffeemaker. Did I err? Yeah, yeah, yeah, I know I�m neither the first nor last person to do such a dumb thing, it�s the frequency of dumb things that makes me so Grooish! P.S. I promise next week�s pair of Grooisms will be much more action-packed! P.P.S. In case you�ve lost track, only 247� more� 247 , ummm, days,,, HEY! WAIT A MINUTE!!! Back on January 9 I had it as 244 more days until Talk Like A Pirate Day! Now we�ve time-slipped back to 247 days! What gives!!!? Oh well! Only 247 more days until Talk Like A Pirate Day! *sigh* Did I err!!!???
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