January 16, 2004 - 10:25 a.m.|
Fish, Coffee, and Pirates. Some Casual Grooisms
OK, I admit none of these Grooisms are up to my usual standards of mayhem, but they’re mildly humorous stories anyway…
Grooism #10: The Fish Story
Coming home from work one evening, I knew I had nothing defrosted for dinner, so I decided to stop by the neighborhood fish market on the way home and pick up something to cook.
I learned a valuable lesson tonight, and that is, learn the local language!
Okay, I know I live in New Jersey, but the area I’m in is a heavily Spanish neighborhood, so speaking no Spanish, I just manage the best I can.
The store I went to had a sign that said Pesca-something-or-other (hey, I know that means fish, Pisces, right? ), it had fresh fish on ice in the window, and (here’s the clincher) the only English to be seen in the store was in fact the words Fish Market! Okay, to quote my buddy Dan, “How hard could it be? ”
However, the fish had no prices marked on them, and there were no signs anywhere with prices, so I communicated the best I could with the fishmonger that I wanted to know what those fillets were, and those… and how much?
He said “Red Snapper, $7.99 pound, Flounder, $6.99 pound. ”
“Okay, I’ll take 2 (holding up two fingers) Red Snapper fillets. ”
Now, I had noticed that the guy before me had had his fish breaded and fried, but I was in the mood to cook, so decided not to take the tempting shortcut. To reinforce this, I said “I’ll take them just like that, not cooked. ”
The guy nodded, rinsed the fillets, sprinkled them with lemon juice right next to a tub of flour…
“No, wait, no flour, I want to take then home just like that, okay? ”
“Like this, si! ” and with that he tossed my fish into the deep-fryer, unseasoned just like that!
OK, I know when to admit defeat!
My fillets were already cooking, unseasoned though they were, so I just went with the flow, took home my unseasoned, uncoated deep-fried red snapper, sprinkled some Cajun seasoning on them, and a had a pretty damned good fish dinner after all, without having to cook! Oh well!
Grooism #11: Morning Coffee
The only thing better than fresh-brewed coffee is a fresh-brewed Grooism, and this one combines them both.
We’ll have the decaf coffee light with one Splenda®, and the Grooism short and sweet…
I finally got around to buying more coffee last week, but haven’t gotten back into the habit of brewing a morning pot. Since I live alone, a whole pot is a bit of a waste, but attempts to brew half-pots always come out either too strong or too weak. Therefore I just brew a full pot of coffee, enjoy a large travel-mug sized java with my breakfast, then bring 2 travel mugs of coffee with me to work. The first I enjoy hot, the second goes in the fridge for iced coffee later.
Of course I digress. Since as I said I am out of the coffee habit, my routine is a bit rusty, but I decided to go for it yesterday morning. Let’s see now, measure the water in the glass coffee pot, pour water into coffeemaker, measure grinds into filter, turn on coffeemaker…
Now I’ll just go shovel the snow, and when I come back I’ll be greeted by…
…puddle of coffee all over the counter and floor!
Yes, I somehow neglected to actually put the coffee pot into the coffeemaker.
Did I err? Yeah, yeah, yeah, I know I’m neither the first nor last person to do such a dumb thing, it’s the frequency of dumb things that makes me so Grooish!
P.S. I promise next week’s pair of Grooisms will be much more action-packed!
P.P.S. In case you’ve lost track, only 247… more… 247 , ummm, days,,,
HEY! WAIT A MINUTE!!!
Back on January 9 I had it as 244 more days until Talk Like A Pirate Day! Now we’ve time-slipped back to 247 days!
Oh well! Only 247 more days until Talk Like A Pirate Day!
Did I err!!!???