Mr. Grooism

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March 23, 2004 - 5:29 p.m.

Thirteen and a Half Things™

March 2!!! MARCH 2!!!* I can’t believe it’s been three weeks since I last blogged!!! Man, I owe you guys about a case and a half of Campbell’s Cream of Mushroom Soup!

*UPDATE! Thanks to Kevin Walsh for noticing I originally wrote May 2
instead of March 2. Did I err?

Well, since I have no good excuse for my absence, I figure I can at least cook up a few bad ones, thirteen and a half to be exact! Here without further fanfare is my list of

Thirteen and a Half Things™…
That Have Kept Me From Blogging
For Three Freaking Weeks!

1. I was busy stalking the Verizon “Can You Hear Me Now” dude with a nice, flat flounder for his annoying mug! “Can you hear m-” WHAP!!!
2. I spent the whole time auditioning for American Survivor (What do you mean that’s not the name of the show? I was told my singing was perfect for a deserted island! I was even told to sing Far, Far Away! )
3. March is International Nap Month!
4. The dog ate my keyboard!
5. I was attacked by three hundred crack KAOS assassins with submachine guns! Uhhh, thirty KAOS troopers with truncheons? Would you believe a Little Old Lady with a pointed stick?
6. Kryptonite!!! Aaarrrggghhh!!!
7. I Forgot!
8. “It wasssn’t me, it wasss The Presssciousss!!!”
9. PogoHockey Semifinals (Go Bouncers!!!)
10. Morning Sickness. And Evening Sickness. Afternoon Sickness too.
11. I’ve been busy busy busy looking all over for Weapons of Mass Destruction, and I’m closer than ever to finding the pesky things! Now pass me my plastic pail and shovel, time to get back to work!
12. Can’t post a thing until my new internet provider,,* is finished setting up my account. Any minute now…
13. I was unable to post bail.
13.5. Three-headed alien gorillabees descended…

*It occurred to me after I wrote this that I should check and see if there is a real Perfect! You get automatically shunted to another website whenever you try to get there!

Anyway, it’s all true, I swear! Seriously, its doubtful I’ll ever be able to maintain a daily pace, I usually just want to collapse when I get home from work, but I will do my best to post close to every other day. Deal?

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