My April Fools Day Grooisms!
Grooism #15
Driver�s License Fakeout � Or Is It?
Pulled a few minor April Fool�s Day pranks today, nothing groundbreaking, but I had fun. Yesterday�s blog entry was one, but I think that was rather obvious on first read, wasn�t it? I�ve now amended it to say April Fools! in the heading, since April Fool�s Day is in fact now over!
I had fun with Monopoly® money today. Whenever a cashier asked for singles or fives, I�d always give it to him or her in Monopoly® money first. What I really wanted to do was, upon closing the night before, hide the money in one register under the till and put Monopoly® money in each slot, so that when my store manager opened the store on the morning of April 1st he�d have a What The F---! Moment! However, I kind of chickened out, as recent store loss prevention issues and the fact that our registers are now under video surveillance makes the idea of hiding money A Bad Idea.
I also called friends working at a couple of other stores in my chain and asked for some Stupid Things to annoy them. It Was Good.
Anyway, let�s get to the Grooism, shall we?
While we were closing the store, D_____ showed me her new Driver�s License picture, so of course E___ and I showed her our pics. When I pulled out my license, I gave it the old, �Oh my God, I didn�t realize this expired months ago� gag, and then actually looking at the date, realized, �Oh my God, I didn�t realize this really did expire months ago!!! GAAAAKKKK!!!! � So yeah, I�ve been driving around since November with an expired license, and only noticed when I pretended my license expired! Did I err?
Grooism #16
Never Prank Your Teacher!
I was never a trouble-maker in school when I was a kid, and to this day I prefer harmless, dopey pranks. When I was in Seventh Grade I had a science teacher whom I will call Mrs. Dopplereffect. Mrs. Dopplereffect was fairly stern and strict, but I got along with her quite well since I didn�t make waves.
One April Fool�s Day I invested in my first store-bought prank, ye old Disappearing Ink! As class was filing out, silly old Larry went up to her and said �Hey Mrs. Dopplereffect!� and squirted disappearing ink onto her nice white silk blouse!
Hmmm, maybe I should have named her Mrs. Mount Vesuvius, because man did she erupt! I tried explaining that it was disappearing ink, but apparently that didn�t matter, because I was about to learn a little something about a fabric called silk and its relationship with that old mostly-harmless substance called water. Can you say Stains Anyway?
Mrs. Dopplereffect marched me into her office, where she made me call my dad and explain to him what I had done. I only managed to croak out a �Hello Dad� before bursting into tears and half-choking out a much garbled explanantion of What I Had Done, which since it was pretty darned incomprehensible Mrs. Dopplereffect had to translate for my Dad.
You�d think that would make me think twice before pranking again, wouldn�t you?
Grooism #17
Never, Ever Prank Your Mom!
Some pranks just sound funnier than the mundane reality of actually performing them. The year after the Amazing Disappearing-Reappearing Stain Trick, I got the brilliant idea that for April Fool�s Day I would put sugar in the salt shaker and salt in the sugar bowl. Bwaaaah-haaah-haaah, hilarious, right?
Wrong.
Turns out that Mom never quite noticed on her own what I had done, so eager to spring the joke I laughed at her and showed her What I Had Done. Ohhhh boyyyyy, she was soooo not amused! Unfortunately, it turns out that What I Had Done was completely ruin dinner! Did I err?
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