April 02, 2004 - 9:15 a.m. My April Fools Day Grooisms! Grooism #15 Driver’s License Fakeout – Or Is It? Pulled a few minor April Fool’s Day pranks today, nothing groundbreaking, but I had fun. Yesterday’s blog entry was one, but I think that was rather obvious on first read, wasn’t it? I’ve now amended it to say April Fools! in the heading, since April Fool’s Day is in fact now over! I had fun with Monopoly® money today. Whenever a cashier asked for singles or fives, I’d always give it to him or her in Monopoly® money first. What I really wanted to do was, upon closing the night before, hide the money in one register under the till and put Monopoly® money in each slot, so that when my store manager opened the store on the morning of April 1st he’d have a What The F---! Moment! However, I kind of chickened out, as recent store loss prevention issues and the fact that our registers are now under video surveillance makes the idea of hiding money A Bad Idea. I also called friends working at a couple of other stores in my chain and asked for some Stupid Things to annoy them. It Was Good. Anyway, let’s get to the Grooism, shall we? While we were closing the store, D_____ showed me her new Driver’s License picture, so of course E___ and I showed her our pics. When I pulled out my license, I gave it the old, “Oh my God, I didn’t realize this expired months ago” gag, and then actually looking at the date, realized, “Oh my God, I didn’t realize this really did expire months ago!!! GAAAAKKKK!!!! ” So yeah, I’ve been driving around since November with an expired license, and only noticed when I pretended my license expired! Did I err? Grooism #16 Never Prank Your Teacher! I was never a trouble-maker in school when I was a kid, and to this day I prefer harmless, dopey pranks. When I was in Seventh Grade I had a science teacher whom I will call Mrs. Dopplereffect. Mrs. Dopplereffect was fairly stern and strict, but I got along with her quite well since I didn’t make waves. One April Fool’s Day I invested in my first store-bought prank, ye old Disappearing Ink! As class was filing out, silly old Larry went up to her and said “Hey Mrs. Dopplereffect!” and squirted disappearing ink onto her nice white silk blouse! Hmmm, maybe I should have named her Mrs. Mount Vesuvius, because man did she erupt! I tried explaining that it was disappearing ink, but apparently that didn’t matter, because I was about to learn a little something about a fabric called silk and its relationship with that old mostly-harmless substance called water. Can you say Stains Anyway? Mrs. Dopplereffect marched me into her office, where she made me call my dad and explain to him what I had done. I only managed to croak out a “Hello Dad” before bursting into tears and half-choking out a much garbled explanantion of What I Had Done, which since it was pretty darned incomprehensible Mrs. Dopplereffect had to translate for my Dad. You’d think that would make me think twice before pranking again, wouldn’t you? Grooism #17 Never, Ever Prank Your Mom! Some pranks just sound funnier than the mundane reality of actually performing them. The year after the Amazing Disappearing-Reappearing Stain Trick, I got the brilliant idea that for April Fool’s Day I would put sugar in the salt shaker and salt in the sugar bowl. Bwaaaah-haaah-haaah, hilarious, right? Wrong. Turns out that Mom never quite noticed on her own what I had done, so eager to spring the joke I laughed at her and showed her What I Had Done. Ohhhh boyyyyy, she was soooo not amused! Unfortunately, it turns out that What I Had Done was completely ruin dinner! Did I err? Add your own comments, I’d love to hear from you! Just v CLICK HERE v %%commentscount%% comments so far Ahoy, mateys! Only until Talk Like A Pirate Day! previous - next All content except as noted copyright 2003, 2004 Lawrence C. Steller, all rights reserved. May not be reproduced in any form without express written permission from Larry, ok? email: