Mr. Grooism

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April 12, 2004 - 11:38 p.m.

Easter Eggs Erroneous!

Patience Is A Virtue!

I know, I know, I said I wasnít gonna post till tomorrow, but Iím early, ok?.

The Impending Possible Really Good News I hinted might happen today didnít, I wonít get notification for another week or two whether itís a thumbs up or a thumbs down.

Basically, I was interviewed today for a possible promotion to Store Manager at a nearby location. I kind of got my hopes up that I would get a quick yeah or nope, since reliable sources hinted there was an urgent need for someone to take over the store starting today!

However, the truth is Iím merely temporarily covering this store for the next week or two while they interview qualified candidates including myself, after which I will either be approved and take over permanently or be returned to my current store and position. I have a high level of confidence, but am quite wary of becoming cocky! Time will tell!

Where Oh Where Could That Last Darned Egg Be!?

My 8 year old nephew Billy is at that age where heís mostly a kid, as opposed to a baby. However, kids that age are still in kind of a transitional maturation phase, where they donít yet always distinguish appropriate behavior from inappropriate.


While celebrating Easter at my momís house my sister Linda staged a cute little Easter Egg Hunt. A certain amount of plastic eggs were marked for Billy and were given mostly difficult hiding places, while the eggs marked for my 2 year old niece Carly were put out in plain sight for her to find.

I hid a number of them, and on impulse quite obviously stuck one inside my shirt, over my navel between my tee shirt and shirt. You couldnít miss the obvious egg-shaped lump where my belly-button should be, but as often as Billy looked at me he never quite noticed. Eventually we started hinting that there was an obvious one on my side of the room. He suddenly noticed and ran over laughing, so when he grabbed for my shirt I reached in and handed it to him.

So far, so good.

After a few more minutes of searching in vain for those last couple of eggs, he quite casually walked up to my mom, grabbed her right breast, then matter-of-factly moved on to check nearby cushions!

Yes, thatís right, my 8 year old nephew groped his own grandmother!

Well, we all fell about laughing so hard that there was no thought of harshly disciplining the poor, confused kid. We explained that grabbing a woman there was a bad idea, something he should never, ever do again, but there was no scolding, because he really, truly didnít seem to understand what he had done.

Damn, what made it so funny was how casually, nonchalantly he groped her! I mean, he pulled out a chair, peeked under a table, grabbed his grandmotherís breast, and checked behind the sofa cushion, all with such serious determination that we all just gaped at first. My momís jaw dropped with this look of utter shock, as if to say, that didnít just happen, did it?

It was quite simply one of the funniest things I have ever witnessed!

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Ahoy, mateys! Only until Talk Like A Pirate Day!

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