December 28, 2003 - 11:36 a.m. Another Classic Grooism Grooism #6: Coffee, Jets and Chicken, oh my! I attended Hofstra University in the 1980�s, which also happens to be where the New York Jets practice. During my freshman year I was working as a busboy in the University Club, and committed the type of faux pas that green busboys commit every day all over the world - I spilled hot coffee on someone. However, not content to merely screw up by spilling hot coffee on any-old-someone, I had to drench the lap of a Jets player�s wife during a pre-season party. To quote Roseanne Rosannadanna, "I thought I was gonna DIE", or more correctly be stomped into gruel! However, as upset as they were by my clumsiness (Did I err?) they were both pretty cool about it as I spluttered and apologized. I then stumbled into the kitchen, sat down, and just shook for a bit. Sorry, I don't know the player's name or that of his wife, as I've never been much of a football fan; I'm fundamentally a baseball fan. There is one Jets player whose name I will never forget, though, Mark Gastineau! About two years after The Coffee Incident that swine tried to run me over with his Jeep during an extremely one-sided game of chicken!. I was working as Student Security at the entrance to the Jets Complex one morning when Gastineau arrived for a workout. Instead of slowing down so I could check him out and let him by, Gang Green�s* Gorilla just gunned his Jeep right at me, made me dive out of the way like the world�s worst stuntman, then hopped the curb to tear up the grass a bit before entering the complex, all the while cackling like a lunatic! Such class! It�s a wonder the team survived The Gastineau Era without any major lawsuits! Needless to say, this did nothing to convert me to a football fan! *I�m not sure when the Jets� nickname �Gang Green� evolved, but I�ve always thought it rather appropriate for Gastineau�s team to be described by a rotting flesh disease! Add your own comments, I�d love to hear from you! Just v CLICK HERE v 0 comments so far Ahoy, mateys! Only until Talk Like A Pirate Day! previous - next All content except as noted copyright 2003, 2004 Lawrence C. Steller, all rights reserved. May not be reproduced in any form without express written permission from Larry, ok? email: