King Kong News!
(or� April Fools!!!)
(Revised April 2, 2004, ain�t I a stinker? The following is a pack of filthy lies, but I sure did have fun with it!!! BTW, The Carrot Top Link is the only link that doesn�t take you to Carrot Top�s Home Page. Where does it take you? Hmmm�)
Studio Squall Sidelines Production
Just got this from the Associated Press website.
LOS ANGELES, CA (AF) �Universal Pictures confirmed today that Peter Jackson (Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King) and his Wingnuts Films production company have indeed pulled out of production for the remake of KING KONG. Citing irreconcilable difference, Jackson quite reluctantly pulled out of his dream project after studio interference became unbearable. Dean Devlin (Eight-Legged Freaks, Godzilla) is apparently preparing to step into Mr. Jackson�s directorial shoes.
�Those yahoos seriously just wouldn�t let me do things my way; the success of Rings should have earned me the breathing room to properly bring this epic back to the public. � Complained Jackson. Citing casting and story interference, Jackson railed bitterly against the studio�s insistence on casting Rings alumnus Billy Boyd (Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King) as hero Jack Driscoll.
�I love Billy like a nephew, � says Jackson, �but he�s just not right for an action-orientated male lead! I�d love to work with all of the Hobbits again, just not on this!�
Universal moved quickly to secure Devlin to succeed Jackson. �I�ve had a script in my pocket for years now, and I�m glad to finally be able to give it a go! I love Kong, he�s filmdom�s finest monkey and one of Hollywood�s greatest leading men! �
Asked about his script, Devlin revealed little. �All I can say is that today�s filmgoers could care less about the 1930�s, so my film will be a contemporary take on this classic. Kong and his mate, The Queen will emerge from hiding on a remote island where a new Reality Show is being filmed. While there will be no dinosaurs on my island (they�re extinct, duh!), we will find an abandoned genetics lab and plenty of giant mutated bears, lions, and tigers for The Kongs to fight! There will also be a giant Yorkshire Terrier who follows everyone around and gets into mischief. �
Universal spokesman R.J Rellets threw out another tidbit. �We�ve had a hard time getting past the stereotype of the gorilla as a destructive force; in the wild they are loving, peaceful animals. Deano agrees, so Our Kongs will actually be genetically altered chimpanzees, as chimps are much more aggressive and dangerous than gorillas. �
Devlin and Rellets spoke at length about their casting wish list, none of whom have signed but many of which have �agreed in principle. � The list includes Keanu Reeves as TV Producer Karl Denim, Calista Flockhart as Reality Show contestant Ann Darrow, Ashton Kutcher as Big Game Hunter Captain Steve Engleberg, Billy Boyd as contestant Jack Driscoll and Carrot Top as conniving scoundrel and contest frontrunner Dippy Dale.
I was kind of worried that Jackson�s take on King Kong, being set in the 1930�s and �true� to the original might be a tad boring, but the new version sounds awesome! Devlin knows what filmgoers want, and knows better than to cater to obsessive fanboys, who form a small and inconsequential slice of the filmgoing demographic.
Bring on da Chimps!
All content except as noted copyright 2003, 2004 Lawrence C. Steller, all rights reserved. May not be reproduced in any form without express written permission from Larry, ok?
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